L.O.V.E.

Love

Others

Values

Expectation

How often do you hear people say he/she doesn’t listen to me?
Effective communication has somewhat declined in recent years with the surge of social media.  My husband and I would send a silly message to each other even though we were sitting right beside each other just for a laugh. But honestly, talking with one another face to face has real power.  We are able to see facial expressions and body language; hear voice tone and pitch.
The word love encompasses many meanings, I love my cat, I love that song, I love my partner – when…… Let’s take this a little further.

L: love means friendship, feelings, devotion, affection, caring.  Loving someone unconditional can be difficult but with a few keys to guide may just be the answer some are looking for.  When we want to effectively communicate to someone we want their undivided attention no matter at home with a partner, child, friend or in the workforce. We want to be heard and cared for with the feeling reciprocated.  Take the time to think how we go about getting the person to listen to us. Are we intrusive, loud, meek, or just give up and walk away thinking it’s too hard?

O: others. Treat others how we would like to be treated. When we are speaking with someone be on the same level as them. Literally.  We don’t want to be seen as superior or inferior, choosing a suitable location is essential is building relationship eliminating preconceived ideas.  Listening to the person unravel their thoughts will aide in responses.  Wait to speak and respond in a congruent emotion meaning, happy = happy, sad = empathy. This builds trust opening channels to free flowing conversation.

V: values.  Each and every person holds values. These may not be the same as yours or mine but we all must respect others opinions, values, morals and beliefs with no judgement.  We all come from different walks of life, raised and made our choices that reflect our personality and has shaped our character to be the people we are today. Our values stem from these very personal traits.  I may have walked a mile but not in your shoes.

E: expectation.  Expectation can be high if a child growing up has watched all the Disney movies with prince charming or the parent that does everything for a child.  Once married or in a long term relationship one partner may have a very different expectation to the other and if not communicated can result in disagreements and even resentment. By sharing of thoughts, feelings, values and even expectations extends ourselves outside our comfort zone which reveals character and builds confidence in ourselves, our partners and others. We have all heard the saying ‘once bitten twice shy’ though when we are in a relationship extension with a little grace may just save the relationships, friendship, family unit or partner we dearly care for.

Communication cannot be bought, it is learnt, earnt, built on trust and open channels to develop a deeper relationship with our L.O.V.E. expansion points.

Janelle Tanzer 

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